true self image

I know I’ve written about this before, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how my name relates to my work. True image. I’ve heard that the name originates from the Catholic tradition that as Christ carried his cross to his crucifixion, a woman wiped the blood from his face and created a perfect image of His face on the cloth. She was then called Veronica, meaning “true image of Christ.”

I find the connection fascinating not only in that I happen to make images, but also in that there’s an undeniable link between creating and self-image. Self awareness and self worth directly influence my creative drive. I’m not talking about that self-esteem crap that they’re pumping into all the kids in American schools these days. I’m talking about being in tune with and realistic about who I am as a human being created in the image of God.

When I go through stages of self-loathing, it is impossible for me to create out of that state of mind. What I have to do to regain my creative drive is realize that self-loathing is not an accurate point of view. I’m not seeing myself correctly. I need to see myself from the standpoint of humility and gratitude, to realize that I am a flawed human being, but that I am a work in progress and very fortunate to exist at all, much less have such a privileged existence.

So when my self-image lines up and I can approach my work with gratitude, I can also have realistic expectations of myself as an artist and of the work itself. I should strive for excellence, but not expect myself to get anything right in the first shot. I’m not God. But all I do should reflect Him through me.  I am learning to like what I see in the mirror because it is a work in progress as I strive for a healthy body rather than a perfect figure. So also, instead of wishing it was something else, I can learn to love my work because it is a step in my evolution as an artist.

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