back on the wagon & the big 3-0

i’ve been hearing it a lot lately, but never thought all the hype could be true: being 30 rocks so much harder than your 20s ever did.

a month-and-a-half in, i’m realizing how true that actually may be. i not only feel like more of a woman than a girl, i feel like more of an artist than someone hoping to be an artist. i don’t know if cutting off all my hair made me feel more artistic looking, of if it just gave me a bit of a confidence boost because i just went ahead and did something i felt like doing. either way, i feel more secure than i have at any other point in my life. over the last year or two, i’ve found myself caring less and less what others think of me.

in a good way.

with that twenty-something angst finally banished from my psyche, i now feel more freed up to be myself and be happy in my own skin. comparison no longer steals my joy. the approval of others doesn’t dictate what i allow myself to attempt. i’m healthy, i’m happy, and while i could stand to lose a few pounds, i’m not obsessing over my figure. i’m becoming less uptight about things in general.

in the words of tyler durden, i have found the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

not to pile on the cliches, but this is my year. it’s my year to create without fear of failure or judgment. it’s my year to flourish in my relationships. it’s my year for the adventurer in me to stop being afraid. it’s my year to stop letting anything about my past, present, or body image hold me back. to quit being a wallflower for fear of scaring people with my real personality. it’s my year to slide.

in other news, you know what else turned 30 this year? reading rainbow, my little pony, cabbage patch kids, care bears, microsoft word, the camcorder, and the moonwalk. all awesome.

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