what is poetry?
linguistic economics
prudently spent words
Author: veronicabishop (page 20 of 21)
do you ever get the vague yet undeniable feeling that something great is going to happen? after a very long spell of not feeling particularly inspired, i lately feel that i’m entering a period of creative fruitfulness. i’m positively electric with antici…
pation.
i’ve decided take on a personal challenge to make this impending great thing come to fruition. it feels so self indulgent i’m almost embarrassed to type it, but here’s the plan: I’M CLAIMING FIVE WHOLE DAYS. five days to make things. five days off work that aren’t sick days. five days to not worry about anything besides doing just whatever my creative impulse tells me to do.
i am gearing up for this by collecting inspirations and eliminating things that will almost certainly distract me if i don’t do them now…like cleaning the house, organizing closets, refinishing furniture, reading six books at the same time, gardening…and internetting.
to steal a quotation from “the perks of being a wallflower,” I feel infinite. i will attempt to document each of the five days here as a way of keeping me on track and accountable to my own challenge, and trying to stay true to my goal of having something to show for the time i have greedily set aside for myself.
two weeks from now and counting…
If you are reading this and have not yet laid your hands on a gem of a book called “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, please do yourself a huge favor and grab yourself a copy as soon as humanly possible. In it, Pressfield describes the characteristics of Resistance, which, in short, is self-sabotage that prevents us from doing/thriving at whatever it is we’re born to do. We beat Resistance by sitting down to do our work, inviting the Muse and just doing it.
As mentioned in my introductory post, this is why I’ve begun to blog. It gets me to just sit down and write on a regular basis, whether or not I have anything worthwhile to say. It makes me overcome anything that would prevent me from my creative tasks.
I believe that this is what I’m asking for when I say, “Give us this day our daily bread,”–bread being the creative drive, wisdom, spiritual sustenance. God, today grant me the ability to create. Forgive me for the things that get in the way of that, and help me to stop sabotaging what you have created me to do. Thank you for that spark you have put in my spirit. I invite you to inspire me today.
When one is feeling down, it’s certainly not something one cares to advertise. Though I’m having yet another day of feeling inexplicably sad, I have neither the desire for expression nor the ability to hide it. But this blog is not meant for me to emotionally vomit on you, dear readers (if there are, in fact, any of you out there). If you’ll pardon my selfishness, it is for my own catharsis and discipline, and if someone out there gets something positive from it, that’s wonderful.
I suspect I’m not the only one trying to make sense of my bewildering late twenties. Striving to be the best version of myself–and figuring out just who “myself” is, exactly–feels like a perpetual quarter-life crisis. It is an odd kind of striving to find who I am, much less who I should be, when I wear so many hats (wife, daughter, child of God, co-worker, friend, leader, artist). Even taken out of the context of others’ expectations, it’s no wonder I have no idea who I am.
I know this: I exist to please my Creator, and what makes me feel most alive in Him is when I myself am creating. So why such an unshakable ache in my spirit? The sadness itself is not so unbearable as not knowing why.
I’m blue. Just blue.
© 2024 Veronica Lee Bishop
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